Lonely For Him...

It's only been one day since Alex has left, so why does it feel like a long time? I really don't get myself sometimes. There was a big part of me that was a little excited for him to leave to go back to Kentucky so that i could have a little time away from him, but now that he's gone i wish he wasn't. Why do i make this so complicated for myself? I guess he's one of those people that even though he can get on your nerves, or stress you out completely, you can't help but to absolutely love him. It's when you're apart that you truly realize how much that other person really does help out. For instance, I'm not feeling well, and baby girl decided that last night she wanted to wake up every 2 hours... CRAZY... (perhaps she's missin her daddy too) and if Alex was home he would have taken her this morning to allow me to get some sleep. Thankfully, Grandma is just down the hall, so i asked her to help me out this morning by taking the baby so i could get some sleep. Even with her taking the baby, my bed feels so empty and lonely and i just have so much on my mind that the sleep i did get was limited and full of thoughts. Maybe my mind is just so used to alex leaving for long periods of time, so i resort to a breakdown and then a power shield to keep me strong, when in reality i'll see him in two weeks and i don't need to undergo this self-protection act I'm so used to doing once he leaves. Well I'd better get on with my day... laundry, more packing, shower, you know... the "FUN" stuff, haha!